the blind side.

I have teared up in movies before -- most people have.

But this trailer got me. This is the next release I'm really looking forward to.

The Blind Side---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khtBvQdxta4

would you sell?

I just finished reading one of the best talks I've seen in awhile (which could be do the the fact I find it the most pertinent at this time in my life).

The talk is titled "Would You Sell" and was delivered by Carlos E. Asay in March 1984. I'm amazed how a talk I was born only months before seems to have been written just for ME. True principles never really die, so I guess it shouldn't be surprising.

His remarks were based on a question he was asked at the age of 18. Would you sell the the next 10 years of your life for $100,000? (Although to keep up with inflation I suppose the price point should be changed to $1,000,000)

It's impossible to actually package up the years of your life and sell them, however, it is possible for each of us to "squander the prospects of the immediate future. Just as Esau despised his birthright and sold it for a “morsel of meat,” so may each of us through neglect and myopic living forfeit all that the decade ahead has to offer."

I had no idea what "myopic" meant either-- apparently it means "lacking foresight."

18-28. Those are the years that have the greatest impact on the years that follow.

I'm 25. Gonna be 26 here in January. At that point in time I have the length of a standard LDS mission till this formative decade has been completed. The first thought that came to my mind while reading this was-- what have you done with the past 8 years?

Part of me feels confident when I look back on the past 8 years :

served a mission that I feel proud of and look back at with pride and happiness

developed countless friendships, many of which are still growing

earned a degree in a field I enjoy

developed talents I never imagined possible

taken trips and had experiences for which I am eternally grateful for

Part of me feels like I have not used the past 8 years to their fullest :

developed poor dating habits

since returning form the mission have let much of that spiritual fire fade away

still no full time profession

But this is the past. It can't be redone. So the real question is: How can I make the most of these next few years so that the I can have the solid foundation needed for the rest of my life?

Many of my friends (myself included for a long time) approach life with the attitude that each day should be lived to the fullest. I wholly agree with this-- but I think there needs to be one slight caveat to this mindset. Live each day to the fullest, but not without a vision of the future!

With a desire to make the most of the present while preparing for the future I feel like I can make these next few years exactly what they need to be, so that I can avoid those "sad words of tongue or pen . . . it might have been."

the first pic was before prom when i was 18.

the second was one of the most recent pics of me out in CA.

life. after graduation.

Until this point in time, everything in my life has followed the general path it was supposed to :

elementary school.

middle school.

high school.

college -

mission.

-college.

Now what? Well, obviously it's time for me to become a contributing member of society.

The question is; how can I best accomplish that while also receiving the financial compensation necessary to keep me alive?

I've spent the past couple of days losing sleep over my future career, or lack thereof. I'm currently still the Director of Public Relations here at SchoolTipline. I enjoy the job, but we are running short on cash over here which has led to a pay cut (from an already meager hourly rate). Living at Grandmas is no longer about me cutting loose from the crew and being able to get married -- it's now a matter of survival.

Part of me is holding on to SchoolTipline because I feel like things will get better eventually and I want to be around when it does. But I could really use some cash right now.

The thing with my Uncle Jeff is also a possibility once that gets going. His business partner Michael reminded me to follow through with the turning the $1 into more & more & more.... But to be honest I just want to start getting the product out--

I'm back teaching dance again. Center Stage, Wasatch Dance, Canyon View, Suncrest, Merit Academy as well as privates. It's busy, but I love it. Teaching is SO much fun. The more time I spend with kids the more I want to be a teacher or a principal at some school. I'm so keen on the idea of teaching that I actually got in touch with Singapore American School.

If I'm going to teach, my first choice is obviously an international school. SAS is the ultimate international school. The teachers I have spoken with LOVE it and have said there is not a public school in America that could touch SAS and the opportunities it provides. Agreed. Even though I definitely enjoyed my public school experience at Clear Creek High School in Texas!

The only problem with teaching is that it requires a teaching degree. I have a degree in Public Relations. I love PR and things have gone well--in fact maybe too well. The sad thing is, all of the national exposure hasn't led to much revenue because schools are just broke right now.

So I've written about this numerous times, but the travel bug is back.... It never really left. I just put it on the backburner. But I want to get out of here. I want to sell everything, pack a bag, get a nice camera and just disappear.

disney.

I'm a Disney fan. I buy into the happy ending thing. Those smiling characters give me hope for some reason. For the most part I'm down with pretty much all the classics, the new ones, however, are hit and miss.

My favorites : Hercules & Mulan

Great stories, but it's the soundtracks that hook me. Overall, love the soundtracks. But each one has one song that gets me every time I hear them.

Hercules - Go the Distance

Mulan - Reflection

There is something about "Go the Distance" that makes me think of things from a spiritual perspective. It's all about Hercules doing whatever it takes to get back to his dad, Zeus. And really isn't that what we're trying to do? Get back to our eternal father... But the song talks about all the things he is going to have to overcome in order to make the journey back and the difficulty he is going to face--- We face challenges of our own as we make the journey back to our Father in Heaven.

I've loved the Reflection song since I first heard it.

Why?

Because it has always been applicable to me......

country songs & breakdancing.

So, for some reason I have felt the need to listen to country music the past few days. My knowledge of country music is limited to a few artists; Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts and of course Garth Brooks. Garth was a favorite of my mom and has passed that on to me. I was listening to a song called Rodeo on the way to work this morning....

That's me.

Well, kind of... I'm obviously no cowboy, despite my Texan upbringing. And perhaps a couple other elements might be a little off, but as a whole I am definitely feeling a bond with this song and my own experiences with breakdancing. Here's the lyrics, with a little personal commentary....

His eyes are cold and restless

His wounds have almost healed

(I'm not sure the wounds ever really heal)

And she'd give half of Texas

Just to change the way he feels
Well she knows his love's in Tulsa
And she knows he's gonna go
Well, it ain't no woman, in flesh and blood
It's that damned old rodeo.
(It's breakdancing... no other girls)

Well, it's bulls and blood
It's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckleHe'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo.

She does her best to hold him
When his love comes to call
But his need for it controls a man
And her back's against the wall
And it's "So long girl, I'll see ya."
When it's time for him to go

You know the woman wants her cowboy
Like he wants his rodeo

Well, it's bulls and bloodIt's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckle
He'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo.

It'll drive a cowboy crazy
It'll drive the man insane
And he'll sell off everything he owns
Just to pay to play the game
And a broken home and some broken bonesIs all he'll have to show

For all the years that he spent chasin'This dream they call rodeo.

(Point taken. In the long run, chasing this dream will only lead to regrets in other areas of life)

Yeah, I know it's a bit of a stretch. But I seem to be finding some kind of relationship between my life and almost all of the media I take in.