“As I stated before, the guys here (BYU) are just like all guys everywhere. They will make a wonderful first impression, leaving you in the clouds, then drop off the face of the planet entirely. They play games and mess around, date you’re girlfriends behind your back. They are immature and self centered.”Ah yes, another bitter diatribe centered on the nature of dating at BYU. A real rarity, right? Wrong. The first paragraph comes courtesy of a good friend of mine from a recent essay of hers. It seems there is a running commentary about how every guy has failed miserably at being "prince charming". Just as common is the incessant whining about the dating failures of the ladies of Happy Valley.
I’ve done both. I have sat down with many a girl friend and said, "man that guy is a jerk, what was he thinking doing that, you totally deserve better." Come to think of it, at times I have probably been the jerk being discussed in a situation just like that. (I'm sorry!) I have also spent countless nights with the guys talking about why you girls do some of the off-the-wall things you do. (To be honest I don't even think you girls know)
But these discussions are just fine because actually I think they are all based on truths. I think that as guys we can do some really stupid things. Sometimes we premeditate our stupidity, but more often than not I think we do it in ignorance. And girls, well you can be pretty brutal at times yourselves.
And so, to my friend, I'm not here to disagree with your point that
“A perfect man does not exist in any non-fiction realm.” I agree with you. But I do have a bone to pick with you about several other comments you made. And whether or not you actually believe these things you wrote is not important, I'm going to comment on them anyways.
“So maybe it’s our fault. Maybe the perfect man for us does not really exist. We will eventually just find someone that puts on an act believable enough, and then spend the rest of our lives being too forgiving. He will hold the title of “Prince Charming” in our minds as we block out reality. It must be our fault.”Put on an act? Wow. Ok, does anyone really want to spend the rest of their life with someone who is “putting on an act”? The correct answer should be, NO. And I don’t believe you have to. I honestly think that you can find an imperfect person who can love you perfectly. So you’re wading through a swamp of guys “pretending” and doing whatever stupid things it is we do, big deal. There will come a time when, if you allow yourself to not be so cynical, someone with a host of imperfections will devote himself to you, and only you. And I do not believe it will be an act. They will truly love you, with a perfect kind of love.
“I want to be fooled.”This is how my friend wraps things up. Interesting. But I know she can do better than being “fooled”. And if I were to ever know that she or any girl settled for something less than they deserve than I would have to say this:
“I want you to get swept away out there. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish...Yeah be deliriously happy or at least leave yourself open to be. I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion, obsession, something you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels, find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. The truth is, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. Who knows, lightening could strike!” (Anthony Hopkins, Meet Joe Black)
Great quote from a great movie. Ok, so maybe I watch a little too many “chick flicks”. Is it a bad thing? Well, I think the guys in the crew would definitely say I’m a little out there. But someday I hope even each of them will find somebody who will give them the love they all deserve. But provide me an interesting predicament about relationships and love and I’ll most certainly have a movie quote ready for you. Haha.
I think my friends piece of writing was great to read and was well written (except for the typo in the first paragraph, see if you can spot it. Haha), but just in case she believes more than she lets on I would like to say, DON’T. Haha. There are too many cynical people in the world. People will find what they leave themselves open for.
You ladies are not going to get a “perfect” Prince Charming. But you can definitely find someone who will love you in that perfect way you have always dreamed of. Leave yourself open and who knows "lightning could strike."
Ok, so because I’m such a big fan of these movies, I figure I’ll test your knowledge and see if you can tell me the movies these quotes come from :
1. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”
2. “You must know…. Surely you must know it was all for you… You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you form this day on.
3. -“Tell me what was so special about your wife?
-“Well how long is your program? Well it was a million little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together….and I knew it.
4. “I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.”
5. -“Go ahead, say it.
-You don’t deserve her.
-I don’t, I know that; but I need her, and I don’t need anything.”
restaurant. Good thing we can eat whatever we want. And since the price of food is not really a problem for us, this was a perfect place to go. It's actually a private beach with the restaurant right on the sand. I had cinnamon french toast while sitting on the sand. What an awesome experience. I just sat there looking at the ocean and was in awe. I ate and then laid down on one of the outdoor beds they had and just read.
